Philosophy 101

Forewarning, this post is likely to be fairly long and contain some rambling but if you stick it out, I appreciate it!

So I did a thing…I accepted a new job position at my company! Before I delve into a little bit of how it happened and what it is, I’ll give a brief{ish} background of my career thus far:

When I was a young and naive 23 years old, pretty much a beebee, I started my first full-time job shortly after graduating college, and it was extremely challenging for me to put it mildly. Up until that point, my sister and I had endured seeing our parents get divorced, moved several times, and sadly lost our mom suddenly 11 days shy of our 18th birthday. This is not to say we did not have an amazing childhood or life (!), but we had some very real very difficult things to deal with starting at a young age. As soon as our mom passed, the start of us straddling a fine line between adulthood and college began. We were caring for our 2 dogs and 2 cats, 3 homes (our home, vacant grandparents home, and family lake property) and registering for college classes…not necessarily normal. However, since we had no idea what was ahead of us, we just took everything one at a time, worked as a team, and had a great support group that helped us achieve graduating college and successfully handling our mom’s estate. With alllll of this said, my first “real world” job really through me for a loop. My title was Financial Counselor and my job was to efficiently maintain contact with an assigned account base of customers that needed help who had fallen behind on their mortgage payments. As you might imagine, that’s really daunting for a 23 year old. Calling and talking to strangers, some of whom were much older than me and who were not very happy to hear from me, could make for some extremely stressful moments and days. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had a breakdown and a few months in, I sought therapy. I had never really addressed all of the loss I had endured (we lost our mom’s parents within days of each other when we were juniors in high school and we were extremely close to them) or my inability to handle huge change and anxiety. I feared making mistakes, worried I was going to be fired, etc. I remember looking around at all the newer employees that were my age just seemingly doing everything like it was nothing and then going out for drinks after work while I was doing everything I could to not just collapse in fear. Over time though it got easier sooner rather than later, much to my shock, and became the norm. This is not to say I didn’t make mistakes and hit bumps in the road, but my fears slowly subsided.

I did this for close to 5 years before moving to a new position within the same department allowing me to work on assistance applications submitted by customers requesting help. I have done this for 2.5 years and appreciated the knowledge I have acquired, especially when D and I bought our house because I actually understood a lot of the documents and fees!

In mid-November, the head of our IS department shocked me by reaching out to say he highly recommended I apply for a position in his department that had just opened up. I really did not know anything about the job and the last place I could see myself was IS (I took 1 computer science class in college and let’s just say it did not prove successful). This position is actually meant to help explain and design the detailed instructions and templates for projects in order to assist the programmers in their jobs. I will not be using traditional computer coding thankfully but will have to learn a whole new program and be able to work on multiple projects at once efficiently.

I start my new position on January 2nd, and am a mixture of excited and nervous. I am very thankful for this opportunity and it seems life is so full of positive things happening when we least expect them. That’s how Kori and I adopted Mason and Jackson, how I met D, and how our engagement happened just to name a few examples of this occurring in my life. I pray this ends up being the right choice and helps me to really develop intellectually as well as financially over time.

It’s funny because we can read blogs and scroll social media reading all about everyone else’s stories and mantras while simultaneously thinking “wow they have really overcome a great deal and are so successful!” but then, at least for me, it always feels like “well they can do that but I can’t”. I tend to stay in a comfy bubble and don’t like to be disturbed. Two people and bloggers that I love that come to mind are Mack and Alexis. Both have incredible stories of hard work, dedication, periods of low lows that they are candid about (definitely appreciate this as when I was struggling years ago, I felt so alone! now everyone can see that there are plenty of people that have to work through fear and mistakes) followed by triumph and success. Mack is working her tail off to achieve the career she is so passionate about and Alexis literally worked her way from the bottom of the bottom to became an extremely successful business woman. I do hope that I can always keep these stories in mind and give myself grace while I now embark on a new journey that I’m sure will test me greatly.

Thank you to everyone for getting to the bottom! I do hope I can continue to use this space to help me relieve stress and focus my thoughts for the upcoming year and would appreciate any positive thoughts and vibes sent my way. 🙂

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7 thoughts on “Philosophy 101

  1. I am so damn proud of you!!!! It’s crazy as hell to take a leap of faith into a new job, be it at the same company or not. I was terrified when I changed my j-o-b in 2015 (as you well know), and I realize the transition period will feel odd. But you will absolutely kick ass, and your company is so lucky to have you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay I am sitting here in the airport with tears in my eyes because this whole post is just so raw, authentic, and relatable. Plus I am just so darn excited for you! Thank you for sharing more about your history with us- I know it’s not easy often to share your story, especially sharing the most formative parts. Age 18 is one of the toughest ages already in terms of changes, figuring out who you are, revolving friend groups, and life changing decisions…. I cannot even imagine going through losing a parent at that age. It speaks volumes to why you and Kori are such incredibly strong, inspiring, empathetic individuals. I really enjoyed learning about your career path too. And ohhh my goodness am honored beyond words that you would even include me in this post- & although I do not feel worthy to be mentioned (especially with Alexis!!), I am so so encouraged by your kind words. And girl- MAJOR CONGRATS. This news is super exciting. You will do phenomenal in your new role & I can’t wait to keep up on your journey. I will say blogging kept me sane through my “hardest year ever” of 2017/early 2018, so I’m excited you want to continue to use blogging through your journey! Nothing worth doing is really ever easy- and the fact that you are taking on this challenge with a realistic, optimistic, kick-butt attitude means you are gonna be able to handle whatever comes your way. Oh, and I LOVEE what you said about giving yourself grace- that was the hardest thing for me to learn, but I would dare say it is THE most important thing to do. You are ahead of the game by recognizing that. Sending SO many good vibes your way & prayers up for you too. 2019 is a gonna be a HUGE year for ya, Kaci, & I can’t wait to follow along 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you SO SO much!!!! I am just so blown away by this opportunity and everything just kind of happening so fast, but I am very thankful it has. Sometimes, I think for me, things just have to happen and force change because I myself do not actively seek change. Funny enough, the moment D proposed and the whole wedding planning, I never once felt nervous. The thought of living together, becoming one, doing life together forever made me giddy with excitement but not nervous. Knowing my personality, I knew this meant that he truly was “the one”. I am so grateful for this space, our friendship, and the blogging community to allow me a creative outlet for both exciting times and stressful times. I do feel like I am in a much better place for change now versus when I was 23, but I’m sure there will be days that push me to my limit and who knows, I might even go home and cry (uh oh for D haha). Also, you are 100% correct: nothing worth doing is ever easy, and I need to really keep this in mind!

      I sure hope you had an amazing Christmas and safe travels! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Isn’t it amazing the strength that comes with knowing you can take risks with someone by your side? I feel so much more confidence taking crazy risks with DJ that I don’t know if I would otherwise. And girrrrllllll, if I had a nickel for the number of times I came home from a 12-hour shift and sobbed as soon as that door was closed. Or when DJ said , “How was it?” and I just burst into tears. Sometimes ya just gotta! We are blessed to have such incredible, supportive husbands. Have a great weekend, Kaci! Hoping you find some nice R & R during this time. xo

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